Lies are lies in everybody's eyes.

I don't want to miss a beat

tapping my toes in this broken street

it's a new excitement

a brand new flavor

a new breath flooding my lungs

as we collapse in laughter

we're breaking the rules of this old town

running when they tell us to walk

running out on the world

while time's running out on us

if there's anything I've ever learned

it's that you have to give a lot

to get a little

so I'm giving everything I got

in exchange for a little bit of your time

don't give anything you can't promise

a skip to my step

a smile to my "pep"

I can tell already

that this time was made for us

there's a fine line between

sanity and the crazed

a line drawn in the sea

it's easy to be decieved.

Opening this old tattered notebook and drowing in old emotions.

Can I ask you a question? Well I guess I didn't give you much of an option, but what if I'm scared? The idea of life ahead, the image is so daunting. All these thoughts overwhelming me. What if I don't want you to go? What if I can't go it alone? Would you stay, or let me wither away? Here's my body. It's yours to keep. While my soul rests, my body "sleeps". Keep this frail heart beating, there's little hope for it all. You said you'd give me the world, I'm sorry I never gave you the chance. You were too busy getting if gift wrapped To notice me writing my goodbye.

I loved you.

Sitting back and really enjoying some good jazz. I've recently been getting into the music lately. It's pretty surprising how many opportunities they have to go out and hear it live in the chicago area.

Long Live the Car Crash Hearts

Yesterday I went into Chicago and had a fun time. Felt like sharing that.

Original Plan;

• Go to Shedd Aquarium
• Get sandwiches at this awesome Vietnamese place
• Go to Art Museum
• Go to my friend's bonfire party.

Actual Occurrence;

• Went to find parking at Shedd Aquarium to find that the police had blocked off all of the street parking. (What a bunch of bull-sh*t)
• Found out the wait to get into the Shedd was 2 1/2 hours. (Free day...)
• Got back in car and left.
• Went to Whole Foods and bought a chocolate croissant and pigged out on free samples.
• Wondered why Whole Foods needs to be so damned big and why they offer water in jugs for free instead of giving away tap water. Chicago has pretty much the best tap water.
• Went to Old Town and wandered the streets for an hour.
• Left Old Town and drove around around the Art Museum looking for parking.
• Found an empty spot, but had to pay $3.50 per hour.
• Left that spot and went to another, same thing.
• Found a spot that was free, but was only legal after 6 o'clock. It was 5:30.
• Spent half an hour in my car reading the Onion waiting for it to be 6 o'clock so I could legally be parked where I was parked.
• Went to the Art Museum. Place was crowded as hell. (again, Free day...)
• Got confused by the Modern Art, and inspired by the Impressionistic paintings.
• Got a chopped salad from Portillos at 10 o'clock and watched a re-run of the Cubs/Sox game.
• Was upset by the Sox's loss.
• Watched Grease and fell asleep shortly after.

Which in fact wasn't that bad of a night. Maybe during the school year I might take the train down and do some homework by the Buckingham fountain. It's really relaxing and yet you're in the middle of everything. That or go to the Art Museum.

I've always been drawn to art, I'm not sure what it is. I can look at the same paintings over and over and still not find them at all boring. I've spent hours pacing the halls of the museum, I no longer need a map to find my way around. And all of this is due to free days. I probably should get that membership thing I go there so often. Oh well.

Modern art is very confusing. The artists try so hard to make their pieces into statements. But this only leaves room for the viewer to interpret the piece the way the artist wanted it to be, otherwise it makes no sense. For example, there was a room with wallpaper that had pictures of people being hanged, bags of cat litter scattered here and there, and an empty wedding gown standing by itself. I mean, this is art? This just looks like a room with random things in it. But if you read the plaque on the wall, you found out what the artist was trying to say. But without that, the piece makes no sense. I like art that you can look at, and try to interpret the piece by yourself. Not just random items put together in a room and given a specific reason. I don't know, I guess I can relate better to paintings and sculptures that give you the freedom to try to see what the artist was saying, than pieces that need other pieces and a plaque for you to try to understand it.

"I used to long for time alone, I used to long a place of my own."

Speak now or forever hold your peace in pieces.

School's almost over. There's only one day left. I'm pretty excited. I don't know, for some strange reason I'm in an almost depressing mood. I don't really know why. All I want to listen to is the saddest songs and sing along. Brand New is a very good band for these types of moods.

Goodbyes are never easy. I think that's the way they should be. Sickly sweet, and rarely remembered. Each one blurs into the next. It's like they're everything and yet nothing all at once. The words are so easy to say, and yet impossible to even whisper. Goodbye, and may you forever hold your peace the way you deserve it, in pieces.

I got a hundred different things runnin' through my head. It's hard to fall asleep when all your dreams are dead.

All alone, there's no one home.

She's broken now, just skin and bone.

Confusion is the underlying melody of this still beating heart.