So say, "What are you waiting for? Kiss her, kiss her."

i need you like a heart needs a beat.

i miss you.

Windows down and our moods on ten.

Faded tees and frayed knees

I need a voice to make this sound right

Wrinkled sheets and comfy seats

This fire will only blaze as high as we let it

s'mores that will last until the end of the summer

Laughs, smiles, and songs that will last forever

New jokes, new nicknames.

Pinky promises and Triple dog dares

We'll plan for the future,

while we try to make this moment last

Pool hair and bare feet

The passing of supplies from hand to hand

Sometimes tossed through the flames

The faces change but the feeling remains the same

A small circle of heat as the day fades away

We only want to sing you to sleep.

Drop the subject if it's not worth your time

Drop the conversation if it bores you

Drop the girl if she's no longer the same

She'll fake it if means you'll stay

Better off as friends.

She wishes that she could feel the same

Love her with all your heart,

and she'll love you as her best friend

Oh, if only it were just so simple

if only you could change feelings on a dime

She dreams of caring the same way but it's still not the same

Pour out your heart

then try to hold it back

clasping your hands to your chest

trying to push it all back in

better off as lovers

you'll always be the option

she'll always be your priority.

How hard is it?

Scenarios flicker through my head

as my eyes dance in the present.

The if only's and what if's pirouetting across my consciousness

I stare at your eyes, a locked gaze

my mind tumbling as I fumble to find something to say

The impossibles and improbables worming their way

up to the front of my thoughts

demanding to prove their value,

daring me to change the way it all works.

How hard would it be to raise an arm and caress your cheek?

How hard would it be to grab your hand in mine?

How hard would it be to lean forward

and conjoin our lips

In the one way I wish I would, but never could

I'm too shy

too full of excuses to make

I blush and stammer,

pretending to be content with the way things are,

when I so desperately long to forge new paths.

It comes as a surprise to many

how we've come this far without really moving

sometimes it pains me how we remain at a standstill

your shyness building an insurmountable wall

my hidden insecurities so cleverly concealed

sometimes it seems so apparent how much I don't deserve you

sometimes, your beauty shocks me

Being around you fills me with an awe,

Being with you makes me bubble over with happiness

You make me happy in a way you could never know

I fill with warmth at the mention of your name

You make me feel

and yet, even after so much time has past

it still feels like new every time

in some ways, it's unfortunate.

We've only just barely made any real progress

But at least we're still on the road.

Insecurities and Unshared Doubts.

boys don't have it as hard as girls do.

You're just jealous because we're young and in love.

Early mornings are a thing to cherish.

The freckled Vixen with brown eyes

Roll down the windows,

Singing to the wind

Leave it all behind.

I can't help but feel addicted

We laugh, we sing,

This is my everything.

Dip our fingers in paint,

We'll paint the city red

We'll paint the sky blue

We'll paint rainbows out of clouds

We'll light this whole fucking town on fire.

sunlight kisses my fingertips

you'll drive slowly up into my driveway

and I'll come racing out the door

my bag swinging behind me in the wind

I'll slide in the passenger seat

a smile on my face and the exchange of greetings on my lips

a smile, a laugh, a grin

and we'll be off once again

music playing in the background

we won't need to talk as the morning grows

I'll rest my head back and softly smile

as I watch the sun kiss your cheeks

in a place usually reserved just for me

oh how I long to hold your hand

caress your fingers

touch you somehow

in some way

to properly express the joy I'm feeling

your eyelashes long and soft seem sleepy as you remain silent

shared glances, locked eyes

the deep brown of mine meeting the kaleidoscope of yours

sometimes pure brown

other times gold and green skirting the edges of your iris

I'll never let go of these early mornings

my breath tasting of coffee

my hair wafting the scent of my shampoo

and you with your own particular scent

slightly stronger from your shower

a scent I've come to recognize and dream about

it's the familiarity of you that I've grown accustomed to

so fast you've taken over my dreams

predictable in a good way

I lock these memories in my heart

the contact that makes it skip a beat

the moments that make it race

keep them close by

and let them out when I'm alone

surrounding myself in thoughts of you

letting them surface as I drift into sleep.

Home will always be here.

I never realized how bad my writing can sometimes be. I was looking back at my poems and I realized that some of them are pretty bad. Oh well, you have to get the bad ones out before you can start improving. However, I think I really like some of them. Some ring more true now than they did before, strange how I can connect so well with it as if it were written only yesterday.

I had a little too much fun, back when I was young.

Sometimes I wish you'd step out of your shell,

if for just one minute.

And for that one minute,

I'd wish you'd tell me how you really feel.

We could run away into the sunset

watch the stars

laugh as our feet hit the pavement.

You and I could be everything.

I lose control when we touch.

My fingers gliding through yours,

finally home.

I miss it when it's gone.

You light me up when you're around,

a smile a new permanent addition to my face.

My freckles smile when you say my name,

my insides start a new dance every time we lock eyes.

You've messed with my mind,

I don't know if it's a good thing.

I see you in my dreams,

I see you when I close my eyes,

I see you in everything I say.

I'll never be the same.

Sorry I've been gone for so long, I've been thoroughly enjoying my summer. Let me catch you up on my life so far:

1. I finished my soccer year off with a bang, starting nearly every game for a little over half of the season, and played a majority of the game almost every time.

2. I've been taking summer school.

3. I went to Taiwan for ten days.

4. I've acquired a boyfriend named Josh.

5. I've been spending nearly everyday with my best friends.

Alright, so my summer has been pretty full of things so far and I've still got two more trips lined up. One is going on a week-long mission trip with my church to Tennessee. The other is going down to see my grandmother and grandfather for a week down in Champaign. I think that it's going to be a very productive summer.

The summer school class that I'm taking is called intro to business and it is possibly the easiest class that I've taken so far. My teacher is very absent-minded and we often spend time watching episodes of The Office and we are currently watching the movie, Pay It Forward.

Taiwan was absolutely breath-taking. If it weren't for everyone back home, I don't think I would've wanted to leave.

My boyfriend, I don't really know what to say about him. He's very shy, but I've grown to care about him. I dunno, that sounds too stuffy. I really like him. Wow, I don't really know how to talk about it. I mean just sitting here typing this, I feel somewhat foolish trying to describe it and I'm doing that thing that I do when I'm embarrassed, which is bite my lip, blush, and sway back and forth. Anyway, things are going very well with him and I'm going to move on before I start REALLY turning red.

I've been spending almost every waking moment with my best friends. This is actually a rare day in which I haven't seen any of them at all so far. I'll probably end up calling one of them soon enough. However, it's been a nice routine so far. I'll wake up, go to school, and then spend the afternoon just hanging out, very low key, very typical summer.

Sometimes it starts to feel like my life is turning into a screenplay. You know, the basic movie-type where the heroine has everything she could ask for; an easy class, an amazing boyfriend, equally-amazing-if-not-more friends, no real responsibilities, and the days slipping by like sand through one's fingers. A soundtrack of dance-able, sing-able songs and laughter constantly filling the air. A suntan coloring my skin and flip-flops on my feet, sunglasses and candy, swimsuits and bikes, shorts and tank-tops, long nights and early mornings, calls and texts, hour long phone conversations with my best friend and boyfriend, smiles and jokes, relaxing and acting crazy.

I can't live with or without you.

It's nice to see you again,
You've grown into yourself.
Can you say the same for me?
It's been to long since you've been here,
If you would've stuck around
You'd have seen all that you mean to me.
It was the right place, but never the right time.
Take my hand, take my side.
Take the doubt fresh out of my mind.
Remind me why I fell for you.
I wrote down the words you whispered,
Calligraphy scripted onto paper scraps.
But the papers slipped through my fingers,
Precious phrases slipping away.
I listened to the static of the phone,
Hearing your breathing slow
And the gradual intake of air
As you plan your next words.
It's almost novel,
Almost refreshing.
I've shown you mere hints,
Of what you could mean to me.
It's your turn to make the move.


Soccer has started up again, and I'm upset to find that I'm no longer a starter. I do remain on the Sophomore team for the second year in a row. I guess I'll have to step up my game if I plan to try out for Varsity next year.

And I know you've been abandoned, but don't abandon ship on me.

I tend to just sit around for periods of time,

And sometimes I consider reconsidering.

Sometimes I want to break the hands on all the clocks,

And stop time from moving.

It'll be the last first peaceful night,

that you'll never have.

Sometimes I want to stop the world moving,

And hold still these moments.

The whole world seems to be moving around you,

But for you, everything has stopped moving.

Sometimes I wish I could erase the words in my mouth,

The aftertastes of hastily said phrases

Burning in regret on my tongue.

But then again, I've learned to accept it.

And judging by the way it all turned out,

I wouldn't change anything in the world.

Not even for a second.