Almost everything I do is in the search for your attention. I hope you know how pathetic that makes me feel. You're independent and completely fine with that and here I am searching for your approval. Sorry if that makes me pathetic.

Why is it that I can't accept that maybe it goes the same way.

Maybe I'm just afraid that someone will love me almost as much as I love them.

Maybe I'm just afraid that I'll get rejected and laughed at.

Is it sad that the second option seems more feasible? 

"Another night, another dream wasted on you"

I'm over-thinking again. I can't sleep tonight and my mind is racing to compensate for my lack of dreams. Nightmares are keeping my mind on edge from dosing off into those sweet dreams that I crave.  I love him. I do. So why do I feel so alone? Why do I feel like crying right here and right now? Why is it that all I can dream about is loss? I have everything to lose.

My "friends" are always too busy for me. They all seem to have moved on and gotten a new life, without me. But that doesn't mean that they've gone off without everyone, no it's just me. They've moved on and left me in the dust. What the fuck did I do? Am I not good enough? Why do I always feel so lonely? Am I really the loser who spends nights all alone in front of her computer talking to herself?


I only really feel alive when you're here.