How hard is it?

Scenarios flicker through my head

as my eyes dance in the present.

The if only's and what if's pirouetting across my consciousness

I stare at your eyes, a locked gaze

my mind tumbling as I fumble to find something to say

The impossibles and improbables worming their way

up to the front of my thoughts

demanding to prove their value,

daring me to change the way it all works.

How hard would it be to raise an arm and caress your cheek?

How hard would it be to grab your hand in mine?

How hard would it be to lean forward

and conjoin our lips

In the one way I wish I would, but never could

I'm too shy

too full of excuses to make

I blush and stammer,

pretending to be content with the way things are,

when I so desperately long to forge new paths.

It comes as a surprise to many

how we've come this far without really moving

sometimes it pains me how we remain at a standstill

your shyness building an insurmountable wall

my hidden insecurities so cleverly concealed

sometimes it seems so apparent how much I don't deserve you

sometimes, your beauty shocks me

Being around you fills me with an awe,

Being with you makes me bubble over with happiness

You make me happy in a way you could never know

I fill with warmth at the mention of your name

You make me feel

and yet, even after so much time has past

it still feels like new every time

in some ways, it's unfortunate.

We've only just barely made any real progress

But at least we're still on the road.