That's it, I'm caving to my inner beastie, and I'm gonna type up all of the poems in my journal. Finished or not. That is a present for my birthday, except it's for you. Yes, this is it. and it's gonna be epic. Here is a glimpse however small, into my mind.
Kiss Me Goodbye
You think I would stay
When you just tear me down?
You push me and shove me
And watch as I fall
Deeper and deeper
Into this corner
That I've backed myself into
Unseeing, unfeeling
Unknowing, but thinking
You're leading me blindly
Off of this cliff
That I've made for myself
I can see the ending
That's been fabricated for me
I'd fall down fast
Deep into the abyss
Unable to turn back.
This isn't what I wanted
This isn't what I dreamed
But I can't see a way out
All there is, is what you've given me.
In my head I see a light
A glimpse flashing in this blindness
I've got to follow my instincts
And leave this mess behind.
So here I go
I won't look back
Don't bother,
I'm not yours anymore.
So kiss me goodbye
I'm gonna leave this all behind
I don't know if I'll make it out alive
But I've got to try
Before this hope disappears
And shows me again
The malice in your eyes
Tonight
Tonight I'm not going to hold back
I'm gonna sing, I'm gonna cry
I'm gonna let it show
Everything I've been holding inside
I'm gonna let it all out,
I'm gonna scream and shout,
This is my time
This is my time.
I'm gonna break free of these chains
The ones that have been holding me tight
I'm sick of drowning in my nightmares
I'm surfacing now
I'm gonna bask in this moonlight
While it lasts
I'm gonna let it all out,
I'm gonna scream and shout,
This is my time
This is my time.
I'm not gonna sit still
The time is passing
I only have one hundred years
To reach my dreams
I'm not gonna take for granted
The time that others don't have
This is a chance that I'm not gonna miss.
I'm gonna let it all out,
I'm gonna scream and shout,
This is my time
This is my time.
So say farewell,
Wish me good luck,
Kiss me goodbye,
Adios, Sayonara,
Arrivederci babe.
I'm leaving this place
That's holding me back
And I'm not looking over my shoulder
At all of the things I'm leaving behind.
I'm gonna let it all out,
I'm gonna scream and shout,
This is my time
This is my time.
A Lady of Sorrow
She gazes slowly
As the street lamps flicker.
Hiding 'neath a veil
Of her raven feathered hair.
The shimmering emeralds
Of her eyes,
Give her emotions away.
But only here in this seclusion,
Does she truly show
How she really feels.
In the depths of her eyes
You can see her sorrow.
Her once pristine black satin dress
Is now ripped to shreds,
As memories of past happiness
Whisper like ghosts through her head.
A single tear
Of sparkling emeralds
Falls to the ground.
Her reason to be
Exists no more.
For he has died
And left her alone.
As the tear descends
She whispers a prayer,
"My dear old friend,
Can you hear me?
This life is unjust,
And this love is unkind,
But i could've managed it all
If you hadn't left me behind."
In this seclusion she stays
For she herself knows,
That she has the fear
To finally show
What she feels inside.
So she'll always be here,
In her own personal hell.
Unfeeling,
Unknowing,
For she has lost the internal war,
Between what we feel,
And what we hide from the world.
Anger
Anger swirling
mind racing
hateful thoughts
hoarse voices
he screams
he hurts
the pain he physically inflicts feels like nothing
in comparison to the salt that he puts on it
with his stinging words.
He stalks away
leaving me in tears
and blames it on me
as he has done for years.
The next day
it's all the same.
In this crazy cycle
of inhumane pain.
Noticed
He was everything I thought I wanted
Everything I thought I needed
But he let me go
Dropped me
Watched as I fell
And turned his head
When I hit rock bottom
And left me alone
But I wasn't really alone
You were there
You came to pick of the pieces
Of my shattered heart
You put me back together
And I clung to you
Like a flame to a candle
I told you "I love you"
But you thought you were just my rebound
I promised you you weren't
And you finally believed
He was my addiction
But you were my savior
Under your loving care
I never relapsed
In this half-way rehab
You're gentle fingers
Grazing over my arms
Giving me goosebumps
Spreading sparks
That reached into me
And circled around my heart
Your loving eyes
Deep as a valley
I could fall into
And never want to leave
Just one glance
And my heart explodes
I feel this way around you
So full of emotions
Filled to the brim
Overflowing with happiness
Blocking out the pain
But you are like an eclipse
True beauty
That can never stay
So I enjoy the feelings
When I'm with you
But still I can feel
The spiderweb cracks
Reminding me of weakness
That I try so hard to hide
I'm sitting all alone now
By myself I can't hide my feelings
By myself I show how I truly feel
My doubts and fears surround me
They suffocate me
And chain me down
I'm dying here
And still no one notices
Maybe it's better this way anyway
Happy by day
And nothing at night
Caged
It's been building
Brick after figurative brick
Forming this wall
That's enclosing on me
Encaged like an exotic bird
All I want is to be free
But I'm shoved into a corner
Unwanted, Forgotten
Chained down
These chains are encircling me
Holding around my waist
No matter how hard I try
I remain chained to this wall
Like a prisoner
It's holding me back
I need to break free
I need to get loose
I need to escape
But I can't.
I scream for help
But my pleas
Fall on deaf ears.
I won't escape
I'm stuck here
Imprisoned
Enchained
Caged
In the darkness of my mind.
Happiness
the sunlight filters through your shades
and you wake with your dreams still on your mind
as you're slowly waking
you witness
the dust dancing in the bright
the world yawning
and releasing the sounds of morning
the sun stretching its arms
and encircling the world
you're gazing absentmindedly through a window
while still smothering yourself in the warmth of your covers
suddenly yet reluctantly you swing your legs out of the warmth
and scramble out to the carpeted halls
you amble your way into the kitchen
and yawning,
you turn the coffee-pot on
leaning against a counter
rubbing your cold arms,
you slowly wake up.
lazily pouring a cup of coffee
before the whole pot is even done,
you enjoy it so sweet,
a spoon can stand on its own.
with enough milk
to turn it a delicious hazelnut brown
while warming your fingers
by gripping around the cup
and sitting on the counter
swaying your legs
you realize
that this is happiness
in one of the simplest
and purest forms.
Collaboration
Snow falls gracefully
waltzing with the wind.
And in its midst
stands you and I
Together again,
but not for long.
Maybe if you opened your eyes,
You could see
what's right in front you you
And was always has been
I love you.
Isn't that enough?
You were everything I wanted
But somehow
We just couldn't make it be.
I've kept my eyes open this whole time
In the hopes
That I would finally glimpse
The thing called love.
(I'm not even close to being done but I don't want to drag this on too long, so I'll post them in moderation. This is all you get for now.)
1 comment:
Nice poems!
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